November 4, 2012
Sometimes having you all the way across the world and me here gets hard. Your busy, and I'm busy, and well, sometimes I'm not that busy. I start being like a crazy girl and thinking way too much. I send you way too many messages, and sometimes they don't get answered. And then, my feelings are hurt.
I need to quit driving myself crazy and just take things slow- you know? Like get my feet wet, but it feels like I've done jumped all the way in the pool.
I am a perfectionist. That is probably why I am so serious because I am trying to make everything just so. I am sorry I am so difficult.
I am hoping that you will still love me even after you are here, and I have a chance to show you how I really am in relationships and not just in a friendship.
Well, I guess something that is good is that you don't have to worry about me not loving you because, if you decide you do want to be with me, I will love the shit outta you until and if you decide you don't.
You have been such a great boyfriend, and I mess things up by thinking too much, making things complicated, and not just being patient.
I forget things and need to be reminded; I hope you don't mind reminding me. - this was a hard day, I was sad and just couldn't seem to not be sad.