February 18, 2013
Times are rough. As time for you gets closer, I am losing patience- since time that I have been waiting for you is increasing. I've been ready for you to be home, and I day dream of that day almost everyday.
I keep getting stuck on the same issue- Do you love me? Some days it's easy- of course you do, but others like so far today it's harder to remember all the love you have said you have for me.
I've told you words mean alot to me, but really words mean alot to me because you are thousands of miles away. You can't show your love with a hug or a kiss, you can't look into my eyes and smile, you can't hold my hand as we walk around, and most importantly you can't be around at times when I need you since time is so different and you are busy.
If there was one thing I could change in this world, it would be the fact that we are always busy- I am always thinking of what do I have to do next?
Instead, I'd like to think what do I want to do next? I'd like to close my eyes and just be for a while and let time slip away. One day, I'd like to do that with you, just be and do nothing really- have no agenda.
Today I am letting go- letting go of the issue I started before- today I choose to quit nagging you about being sweet and romantic...sure it's nice to have someone to fill your ears with sweet somethings, but I don't need you to do that. I don't need to have to ask someone to tell me all that...they need to want to do it themselves. But really what i need is to be happy with myself and thankful for everything I have.