November 26, 2012
Today you told me you are tired, soul weary tired. I wish I could be there with you and just hug you and hopefully take all that away. It's so hard to not be able to do that.
It's harder to find the right words to type to you- the only thing I can say is that I am here and I care. It's just not enough to me. I hope that for now, while we are apart, it is enough for you.
You said today that you love me more than you ever knew you could- I have to say that is one of the best things you have said to me so far. I feel the same.
I never knew we could be so in love and happy as a couple. I never knew that I was going to find someone that could make me finally know for sure that they do love me-and the thing is you aren't even back home yet, you have done this through facebook, kakao, skype, and old memories.
You are some talented person- like I always say, I can't wait till you are here because I have seen what it is like over facebook, kakao, and skype- with you here it will be way better. What about you, do you know that I love you?
Always, Always
ps. I hope that answer was a yes; however, if not, I am going to bug you and drown you with my love until it is a yes
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
before bed
November 23, 2012
I asked you to make me a voice note that I can listen to before bed if I miss you. I am glad you did it for me- you sure know how to make a girl happy.
The part where you say one day you will be here with me is my favorite part. I can't wait till you are here with me finally.
I am hoping you won't be able to keep your hands off of me. Not only do I like a lot of sweet words, but I love to be held and kissed and these are especially good if they are out of the blue.
I know I won't be able to keep my hands off of you- I hope you don't mind. I love you very much
Always, Always
I asked you to make me a voice note that I can listen to before bed if I miss you. I am glad you did it for me- you sure know how to make a girl happy.
The part where you say one day you will be here with me is my favorite part. I can't wait till you are here with me finally.
I am hoping you won't be able to keep your hands off of me. Not only do I like a lot of sweet words, but I love to be held and kissed and these are especially good if they are out of the blue.
I know I won't be able to keep my hands off of you- I hope you don't mind. I love you very much
Always, Always
Monday, February 25, 2013
voice notes
November 22, 2012
Today is Thanksgiving, and what did I wake up to?? Your sweet voice notes! It is hard to believe that you will always love me and that you have already loved me for so long.
At first, I had no idea what Tara said to you that you were talking about in the voice notes. Later, you told me she said that she gives us till next Christmas for wedding plans. It makes me more than happy to hear that not only you, but someone close to you is already thinking about me and you getting married one day. Honestly, I want nothing but to be with you, but on the other hand, I am scared to get too excited about getting married.
I know with my first marriage I feel like I pretty much made him get married. I was the one that started talking to him about it, and he never really gave me a proposal. Basically, I was talking to him about wanting to get married, and he asked then, but there was no thought by him put into it. I think that is one of the biggest things that made me question if he loved me.
Well, with you, I am trying not to show you that I am excited about marrying. Secretly I have already been pinning things on a board on pinterest of ideas about our future wedding :/
Each day I think of you and can't help but to fall more and more in love with you- I hope this is happening to you too.
And we will have tattoos that are somewhat matching- Bjorn pawprints- it will go great with the tattoos you already have.
Always, Always
Today is Thanksgiving, and what did I wake up to?? Your sweet voice notes! It is hard to believe that you will always love me and that you have already loved me for so long.
At first, I had no idea what Tara said to you that you were talking about in the voice notes. Later, you told me she said that she gives us till next Christmas for wedding plans. It makes me more than happy to hear that not only you, but someone close to you is already thinking about me and you getting married one day. Honestly, I want nothing but to be with you, but on the other hand, I am scared to get too excited about getting married.
I know with my first marriage I feel like I pretty much made him get married. I was the one that started talking to him about it, and he never really gave me a proposal. Basically, I was talking to him about wanting to get married, and he asked then, but there was no thought by him put into it. I think that is one of the biggest things that made me question if he loved me.
Well, with you, I am trying not to show you that I am excited about marrying. Secretly I have already been pinning things on a board on pinterest of ideas about our future wedding :/
Each day I think of you and can't help but to fall more and more in love with you- I hope this is happening to you too.
And we will have tattoos that are somewhat matching- Bjorn pawprints- it will go great with the tattoos you already have.
Always, Always
Impression
November 20, 2012
It's been a while since I have written, but I have been busy with school and our sweet baby puppy. Since I've gotten Bjorn, I hang out in the living room with him and my roommates are in there too, so I'm not going to write out there- I need it to be quiet to think.
Tonight, I went to see your family. Of course, they all loved Bjorn, and they seemed to like my peppermint bark that I made for them as well.
At first, Tara stopped and talked to me. And we tried to skype you, but it wasn't working very well. Later, she was all over the place, so I kinda had to walk around and find something to do. I felt out of place, but then I got to talk to Leighton, your step brother, and some of the band members too.
Leighton told me some stories about you. He told me that you used to talk to Tara about me back around high school. He also told me the story of when you got poison ivy or oak which ever it was. Leighton kept saying "I hope Todd doesn't get mad at me for telling you all this" and "I hope you don't think badly of Todd." I told him at first that I wanted to know everything about you. Then, later I said that I am in love with you, so that is why I want to know and that you shouldn't be mad about that.
I guess it was a really good thing that Tara was so busy because that gave me some time with them and not always just with her.
I guess I made a pretty good impression, since Leighton told you that I am cool and to treat me right. I am hoping to keep making a good impression.
Always, Always
It's been a while since I have written, but I have been busy with school and our sweet baby puppy. Since I've gotten Bjorn, I hang out in the living room with him and my roommates are in there too, so I'm not going to write out there- I need it to be quiet to think.
Tonight, I went to see your family. Of course, they all loved Bjorn, and they seemed to like my peppermint bark that I made for them as well.
At first, Tara stopped and talked to me. And we tried to skype you, but it wasn't working very well. Later, she was all over the place, so I kinda had to walk around and find something to do. I felt out of place, but then I got to talk to Leighton, your step brother, and some of the band members too.
Leighton told me some stories about you. He told me that you used to talk to Tara about me back around high school. He also told me the story of when you got poison ivy or oak which ever it was. Leighton kept saying "I hope Todd doesn't get mad at me for telling you all this" and "I hope you don't think badly of Todd." I told him at first that I wanted to know everything about you. Then, later I said that I am in love with you, so that is why I want to know and that you shouldn't be mad about that.
I guess it was a really good thing that Tara was so busy because that gave me some time with them and not always just with her.
I guess I made a pretty good impression, since Leighton told you that I am cool and to treat me right. I am hoping to keep making a good impression.
Always, Always
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Bjorn
Novemeber 8, 2012
Today was intense to say the least. We had to wait and find out if we were going to be able to adopt Bjorn. I was so happy/excited when my roommate (who works at an animal shelter) called to say we got him.
I know he will be a gread dog for you to have, and I can't wait for you to see him in person. Until then, he will be great for me because he can keep me busy while you are busy, and I won't get so lonely.
It surprised me to see you posting pictures and your status on facebook- you called him ours and said your family was growing. It made me feel very special; closer to you because we have something together.
As I write this, he is eating his bone and laying on his big comfy bed. I am already working on spoiling him.
I don't think I could say this enough, but I am so thrilled that we are together. You have always been the perfect guy for me. I can't wait till you come home, so we really can start our adventure together and now also with Bjorn. I love you so very much Todd
Always, Always
Forever?
November 7, 2012
Today, I went to go visit Tara, your step mom. You dared me to, so I had to go. It's been years since I have seen her.
My heart was pounding as I ordered our coffee to take to her (because you told me to take coffee to her), and I could barely tell the lady what I wanted to order. I was very nervous- can you tell?
I just wanted her to well 1st be home and 2nd know who I was/recognize me and 3rd and most important like me. I think I got all those, or at least the 3rd one is an ongoing hope.
We talked alot about you. She said how she was glad we are together, and she couldn't wait to see us together when you are home.
I loved hearing her call you Toddy; it's very cute. It's so different hearing someone else talking about you; hearing someone else's point of view.
I could tell she really cares about you and not only wants what is best for you but also wants you to have the things you want. I can't believe that one day she might be my mother-in-law. That I am 100% ok with. She is such a nice person.
Another thing that is different is hearing someone besides you talk about how in love with me you were back around high school. I may not have seen it back then (probably was the only one who didn't), but now I never want us to stop loving each other. Promise me forever.
Always, Always
Today, I went to go visit Tara, your step mom. You dared me to, so I had to go. It's been years since I have seen her.
My heart was pounding as I ordered our coffee to take to her (because you told me to take coffee to her), and I could barely tell the lady what I wanted to order. I was very nervous- can you tell?
I just wanted her to well 1st be home and 2nd know who I was/recognize me and 3rd and most important like me. I think I got all those, or at least the 3rd one is an ongoing hope.
We talked alot about you. She said how she was glad we are together, and she couldn't wait to see us together when you are home.
I loved hearing her call you Toddy; it's very cute. It's so different hearing someone else talking about you; hearing someone else's point of view.
I could tell she really cares about you and not only wants what is best for you but also wants you to have the things you want. I can't believe that one day she might be my mother-in-law. That I am 100% ok with. She is such a nice person.
Another thing that is different is hearing someone besides you talk about how in love with me you were back around high school. I may not have seen it back then (probably was the only one who didn't), but now I never want us to stop loving each other. Promise me forever.
Always, Always
Friday, February 22, 2013
does that make me crazy
November 4, 2012
Sometimes having you all the way across the world and me here gets hard. Your busy, and I'm busy, and well, sometimes I'm not that busy. I start being like a crazy girl and thinking way too much. I send you way too many messages, and sometimes they don't get answered. And then, my feelings are hurt.
I need to quit driving myself crazy and just take things slow- you know? Like get my feet wet, but it feels like I've done jumped all the way in the pool.
I am a perfectionist. That is probably why I am so serious because I am trying to make everything just so. I am sorry I am so difficult.
I am hoping that you will still love me even after you are here, and I have a chance to show you how I really am in relationships and not just in a friendship.
Well, I guess something that is good is that you don't have to worry about me not loving you because, if you decide you do want to be with me, I will love the shit outta you until and if you decide you don't.
You have been such a great boyfriend, and I mess things up by thinking too much, making things complicated, and not just being patient.
I forget things and need to be reminded; I hope you don't mind reminding me. - this was a hard day, I was sad and just couldn't seem to not be sad.
Always, Always
Sometimes having you all the way across the world and me here gets hard. Your busy, and I'm busy, and well, sometimes I'm not that busy. I start being like a crazy girl and thinking way too much. I send you way too many messages, and sometimes they don't get answered. And then, my feelings are hurt.
I need to quit driving myself crazy and just take things slow- you know? Like get my feet wet, but it feels like I've done jumped all the way in the pool.
I am a perfectionist. That is probably why I am so serious because I am trying to make everything just so. I am sorry I am so difficult.
I am hoping that you will still love me even after you are here, and I have a chance to show you how I really am in relationships and not just in a friendship.
Well, I guess something that is good is that you don't have to worry about me not loving you because, if you decide you do want to be with me, I will love the shit outta you until and if you decide you don't.
You have been such a great boyfriend, and I mess things up by thinking too much, making things complicated, and not just being patient.
I forget things and need to be reminded; I hope you don't mind reminding me. - this was a hard day, I was sad and just couldn't seem to not be sad.
Always, Always
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